Sam’s World

Be True To Yourself

Photo by: cottonbro studio - Photography

Sam stood up and greeted his son as he entered the restaurant. After brief hugs they sat down and ordered a drink. For Sam it was a Coke Zero. For his son, a beer.

“There was a lot of talk last night,” Danny started.

Sam smiled. “I’m glad there was talking. Talking is good.”

Danny looked at his father. “They were talking about you.”

“Is that right?” smiled Sam. “And what was being said?”

Danny watched his father carefully. “They wanted to know why you weren’t being social.”

“Interesting,” replied Sam.

“Interesting?” asked a confused Danny. “Why was it interesting?”

“Well my son. Last night the music was loud and the people talking around us were louder.”

“And that is why you weren't talking?”

“Partially.” Sam looked at his son who he loved with every ounce of his being. “Son, did you hear the conversations?”

“Yes. I was there.”

Sam smiled again. “Let me ask you these questions. How much alcohol do I drink?”

Danny looked away and then returned his gaze. “Hardly any,” was his reply.

“That’s right. And why is that?”

“Well,” Danny started. “First is that alcohol does funny things to people.” Danny smiled. “Next, you think there are better things to spend your money on. And then you don’t like how it makes you feel. It messes with your mind.”

“How much alcohol was consumed by everyone there?”

Danny smiled. “A fair amount.”

Sam smiled at his son's remembrances. “That’s generous. And how do I feel about get togethers where there are more than 4 people sitting together.”

“You don’t like them. You cannot be a part of the conversation. I get that, but you said nothing. “

“Yes, that was my choice. I will not get involved in conversations where people are treating each other poorly.”

“That is how they talk to each other. It means nothing.“

“It means nothing to them but to me it means that I find it unacceptable.”

“But aren't you judging them?” Danny questioned.

“No more than they are judging me by having conversations about why I don’t meet their level of acceptance.”

“This is how society is.”

Sam smiled. “Maybe, but that’s not how I am. I can only be me. How much was the tab last night?”

“About 500 hundred dollars.?

“Did I pay my share?”

“Yes.“

“To me 500 dollars is a lot of money. I don’t spend money frivolously. I do not wish to be paying a bill that large. I know to them it is nothing and because society expects it, they pick up the whole tab from time to time. Their friends do too. I don't do what society expects. I do what I feel is right. I don’t have that kind of money to be throwing around. If people have a hard time with that then that is their issue, not mine.”

“But then you don’t fit in,” replied Danny.

“Is it that important that I fit in?”

“It is to me. I want my in-laws to think nice things about you.”

“On their terms?” inquired Sam.

Danny looked away shaking his head. “Dad, I love you.”

“And I you,” replied Sam.

“But sometimes you have to do things to be sociable.”

Sam looked at his son. “I love you immensely but I am not going to be something I am not. We all have choices. I am who I am, not because I intend to be obstinate but because this is how I stay true to my beliefs. I don’t hurt people. I pay my share. I have a hard time talking in crowds. I talk when conversations are earnest and thought provoking. I enjoy conversations where everyone is on an equal footing. I enjoy conversations where interests are explored, not dictated. There are things people do which I do not like. If I follow society’s rules then I would have to accept them for who they are. But are they willing to do the same for me?”

“Probably not because you don’t meet their standards.”

Sam smiled. “And that my son is why I am who I am. But you already knew this.”

Danny looked a bit sheepish. “Yeah. I know this. But I have to go back to Cherise and have another discussion.”

“I’m sorry son. Life is hard. But I am not abandoning my principles just to get along.”

“I know. I know.” replied Danny with a sigh as he pulled the last drops from the beer bottle. He looked at the beer bottle. ”It’s a whole different world out there,” he reflected as he set the bottle down.

“Yes, yes it is. But at the end of your life it is about who you are, not who people think you are. You and Cherise will discuss this. You will work out how to find it acceptable.”

“Sometimes you don’t make it easy.”

Sam looked at his son. “I yam who I yam,” he intoned while pretending to be pulling on a pipe. “I am okay with it. You have always accepted it. Why the change now?”

“I am just trying to get along with everyone.”

“You will do what you have to do because it is about your principles.”

Danny rose. “Thanks Dad. I will talk to you later this week.”

“No problem my son,” he replied as he half hugged his son.

“Still a half hug,” girinned Danny.

“I also have issues.”

They both laughed. Danny waved as he left. Sam sat back down and ordered another Coke Zero. He mused for a while. “It is far too easy to go with the flow,” he reflected as he turned his attention to far more interesting things.